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I was forced to retire because of a severe, disabling stroke that I suffered on July 27, 2002. My stroke was caused by a violent coughing attack at work. Doctors recognize that coughing may cause strokes in people with no prior history of elevated high blood pressure. (Before the stroke, my BP was recorded by my doctor to be 126/80. It is the same today). But physicians consider such strokes to be a very rare event. Most doctors claim that strokes almost never happen because of coughing attacks. They have piles of statistical studies to back up their claims. Try telling that to a person who just fell down in the rest room in the middle of a coughing fit. But then, I am a walking exception to most every medical rule in the book. I was almost totally paralyzed by the second stroke that hit me later in the night. Suddenly, I blacked out and found myself flat on my back at home. I discovered, to my amazement, that my left arm and both my legs would not move. For some strange reason I found this hilarious. I burst out laughing. It seems that I was laying on the floor for the longest time laughing. Four hours later and I could still not move my legs. I only had limited motion in one arm. I crawled very slowly with major effort into the kitchen and dialed 911. I was shocked to discover I could not speak when the emergency operator came on the line. When I was admitted to the hospital, my speech was so severely impaired that I could only make incoherent sounds. I was still coughing when I was admitted to the hospital. I continued to cough for several days. Luckily a doctor listened to my mumbling sounds and prescribed three types of medication to get my racking cough under control. There I was, flat on my back in a hospital bed, totally unable to help myself. Strangely, I was not frightened or in despair. I knew God was there with me in the hospital. When I was alone in my tiny room I was talking to Him. I knew that He was with me and never lost faith as the hours and days slowly passed. But hopefully, with faith in my heart, I prayed to God that I would be able to understand my fate. I was not praying for a miracle cure or a healing. I was praying for understanding and personal forgiveness. My mind was focused on just getting by day-to-day. Then one day I awakened and simply said to myself, "Well, I've been unable to move for a week now. It's time to sit up." The Lord must have heard me, because He granted me the ability to sit up. Finally, very slowly, I used my left arm and then my paralyzed right arm to push myself up in bed. Silently, I thanked the Lord for giving me the strength to sit up. It was for me a real victory. I had been warned not to try moving about too much in bed. The nurses were very strict about my straining myself to try to sit up. They warned me not to even think about it. I was under strict instructions to ring for help. Certainly, under no circumstances was I to try moving about. The nurses warned me repeatedly. One day I heard a voice saying, "It's Time to Walk." The Lord was helping me again. I slowly eased myself off the bed until I was standing on my own two legs. Slowly, very slowly, I eased myself around one side of the bed. I was thinking to myself, "If I fall on the floor I won't be able to get up." But suddenly I had an urgent need to use the rest room. It seemed to take me hours to cross the room. Then there was the difficulty with using the facilities. And getting up off the stool. When I was half way back to my bed I heard a nurse shout, "My God, what are you doing!" All the nurses were shocked and pretty upset when they first saw me moving about my hospital room. They came trooping in to look at me. One by one they found excuses to take a peek at the paralyzed stroke patient who was walking. They insisted I remain in bed and call them when I needed to use the bathroom. Then they were insisting that I use a walker that they had procured for me. But I just gave up on it after a few days. In a couple of weeks I was walking all over the hospital. Over the course of nearly three weeks in the hospital, I had to learn to use my arms, sit up in bed, move about in bed, swallow liquids without gagging, eat small bites of food, chew without biting my tongue, move my hands and arms to hold a spoon, move the spoon to my mouth, write with a pen, struggle to stand up, and then take my first small steps and walk all over again. Every tiny step of the way was accomplished with tremendous personal effort. But every day God was right there telling me "You can do it." Now I walk every day for about two hours. Sometimes I come home with my shirts clinging to the sweat on my back. Being determined to make a full recovery, I taught myself how to use a key board and to type all over again. This web site is my own design. In order to create it, I had to master basic web site coding (HTML). It took me hundreds of hours to learn web site coding and web site design. It took me countless more hours of typing and retyping to put up this web page. When I began, my typing speed was only about ten words a minute. My typing is still very slow today. All the doctors were amazed by my recovery. My neurologist used the word "Miracle" three times when he reviewed my MRI reports with me. The doctor kept looking at MRI's and looking at me and shaking his head with disbelief. He said that he could not believe I had walked into his examining room. He said that he could not understand how I had suffered such a massive stroke and could talk almost normally.
Doctors in the hospital told me my speech "might improve" for about three months. They explained that further real improvement after three months of speech therapy "would be unlikely" because there was "major brain damage." Yet, my improvement continued. People who meet me for the first time today tell me that my speech is nearly perfect now. Perhaps they are just being kind, but only my family really knows how far I have come. My friends tell me I have always been known for my "fighting spirit." But only God knows the truth of the matter. My recovery was not due to my personal efforts or because of caring physicians or modern medical treatment. It was all because of God. Strangely, I have recovered a great deal of my control over my hands and fingers. I believe this was due to putting up this web site. I work on it very slowly, at a 'snail's pace,' about two hours a day. It takes me that long to put up four, five or six news reports. And I have stated painting again. When I was in the eighth grade in California I won a state-wide art competition. Learning to use the brush again was the most daunting exercise. But slowly, my old skills are returning. I had not held a brush for over 45 years. But look at my efforts (albeit very amateurish) have produced: Today, I am considered a totally disabled person. I still have to take several medications to control my blood pressure and elevated cholesterol. My memory is not what it used to be and I forget simple things all the time. The doctors have long lists of everything that is wrong with me. But at least I am not confined to a hospital bed. Today I am living alone and caring for myself as best as I can. I could not have gotten this far without the care and support of my loving family. But I owe everything to God. The Lord is my strength, my wisdom and my source of comfort. My recovery is due to the Lord's direct intervention. I believe in my heart that He granted me by His grace a Miracle Recovery beyond what anyone could even imagine. My healing is an example of a True Miracle. What is even more amazing, to me, is that when I was in the hospital I was not praying for my own recovery. I simply was praying for understanding and for enlightenment to accept my fate. And, to become accepting of my disabilities. I believe in my heart that the door for a possible healing was opened by my personal commitment to Centering Prayer. I had been doing Centering Prayer for a half-hour every day for six months prior to my stroke. Daily prayer opened the door for the Lord to come in to my life more fully. Centering Prayer is a Miracle that opened the door for my Miracle Healing. Now I continue to pray for guidance and discernment and practice Centering Prayer regularly. It is my lifeline to the Lord. I try to keep the line open every day. Here is a link to the primary Centering Prayer web site. But you have to click on it to visit the site. It will only take a moment. It may change your life and bring you peace of mind. Peace of the Lord be with you.
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